Kittens!

Hello and welcome to Brad's Wild Kingdom. Today I have Kittens in my yard. They showed up about 8 weeks ago. Mom is long gone and I think they are living by eating lizards and bugs. They are wild cats my friends, Wild! They watch my comings and goings with much interest, but they won't let me get near them. I tried food bribes but that hasn't worked. I Think the white one is the leader and he's too smart for me. There are four kittens, whitey, tiger, and the twins, whom I call fearless because A) I can't tell them apart so they get one name and 2)they are the first to run and hide under the house if I approach. It's a crazy place down here in South Florida! Feral cats spawning under my house, hurricanes blowing thing over. Out of this world.







My next post will recount Thanksgiving, where many wild and crazy things happened to me and my intrepid companions.

PUNKS explained

What is PUNKS you ask? PUNKS is an annual adventure. It is a member's only club with a long and storied history. It is an excuse to leave wives and girlfriends behind for a weekend long bender of alcohol, food, and male bonding. PUNKS is a bowling team. It's a Bachelor party with 13 Bachelors. PUNKS rotates its location yearly. It's gone international before and will probably do so again. Its members can be identified by their copious amounts of paraphernalia with the PUNKS insignia. It finds a willing native host wherever it happens to land. Punks has never been to Tijuana. PUNKS has probably been to a City near you.

PUNKS 2005 was in Boston. Here are the Highlights. All names have been omitted to protect the guilty.

- Boot Factor = 5
- Boot Factor Locations: twice out of cabs, and twice in bathroom sinks, once in a pint glass.
- Friday night we went to four bars, and we were kicked out of three.
- Never make the switch to Dirty Martinis, no matter how hot the bartender is.
- Late Saturday night we played football in the streets in front of the bowling alley.
- We had to leave the bowling alley due to a regurgitation incident in the sink.
- We are terrible bowlers.
- The last man to arrive took 5 straight shots of Jack Daniels as Penalty for being late. He's a true champ!
- I did a Bonus shot!
- Saturday morning B-ball was rough and play was ugly. Blood was spilled.
- Calzones at Espressos were heavenly.
- The bowling alley served a Scorpion Bowl in a giant Martini Glass.
- Drunk dials were epidemic. We called China.
- I won a meat eating contest. I am the MEAT-KING!
- We drank Absinthe, among other things.
- We ate the Tower of Power and did Oyster Shooters.
- Oyster Shooters are much worse shots than Absinthe shots.
- Someone did a Walk-A-Thon Saturday morning.
- We will be in Chicago next year. Hide your women and booze!
- The bill for all this, when it arrives, may break me.

- It was an excellent time and I can't wait until next year!

PUNKS 2005

This past weekend was Punks 2005 in Boston.

I survived.

Bottomless Scorpion Bowls as chasers for Oyster Shooters.

I can say nothing more.

My Wilma Experience- In Song

-Set to the melody of "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor
-say out loud to the melody, it works better.

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
with Wilma blowing just outside
But had heard so many times
how Andrew as so strong
I didn't linger long
I chose to carry on
and now I'm back
from Illinois
I just walked in to find a tree
broken on my stairs, oh boy
My front door was still locked
So tired, I didn't wait one second
It was straight to bed for me

Go on now! go out into the gulf
just turn up north now
where you won't bother no one else
Wilma's the one who tried to take me by surprise
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I took a drive
as long as i know how to leave
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I took a drive
I took a drive!

Wilma

I evacuated on Sunday night, just before the storm hit. I drove my self and my prized possessions up to Champaign, Illinois, where I hid under my brothers bed until the storm was over. I got to enjoy electricity and hot water for week. Had I stayed these would have been denied me. Also gas, food, water and ice were in short supply until last weekend. South Florida got pummelled pretty good. I have many friends who are still without power and some who don't have clean water to drink. I'm glad I left, and all my friends are jealous that I did. Next time I drive up there I'm bringing Laura for company.

I got home Sunday night to find one of the large Mango trees in the backyard had fallen over. Onto the house. Onto my apartment. Blocking the stairs to my apartment. Fortunately there was no structural damage and my roof appears to be sound. It was kind of fun to climb up through the branches to get in. It's all cut up now, and I'm sad to see it go. Now there is more light in the back, but I still sense the hole in the sky where it used to be. I will really miss it come Mango season. Luckily I still have one tree to keep me going. It seems that power was restored to my house on Thursday. Too late to save my full refrigerator. Fortunately, my renters insurance has it covered. Grocery shopping on The Man, I love it.

All told I drove 2600 Miles last week. Here are the highlights.

- Heard Stairway to Heaven 5 times.
- Heard Goldigger 17 times.
- Required 1 oil change.
- $38 in tolls I didn't have to pay on the Florida Turnpike. (Tolls are waived during evacuations)
- Popped one tire.
- $3.75 spent keeping the popped tire inflated enough to drive on until I reached Champaign. ($.75 every 120 miles for the last half)
- 2 hours in traffic on Sunday in Atlanta due to a NASCAR race.
- 2 hours waiting in line for gas on Sunday in Palm Beach county.
- Lowest gas price: $2.19 per gallon in Champaign, Illinois.
- Highest gas price: $3.09 per gallon in outside of Macon, Georgia.

-Good night and good luck