Coyote Ugly

Coyote Ugly is a bar inspired by a movie. Go watch the movie, it'll help you understand the bar. Last Friday I visited the bar with my buddy Dan. I have no pictures, because I forgot my camera that night. Which is better for all involved anyway. These are the bartenders at the place.




Let me share the concept behind this bar and then I'm sure you'll understand why I like it. They have hot bartenders (see above)who get up on the bar and sing, dance and yell at the drunks. They met out body shots and penalty shots with wild abandon! They also have choreographed dances to southern rock songs. It's cheesy, but a lot of fun!

I hosted happy hour at chez moi. Dan and I sat around an watched sports center and did some damage to my keg. Good times. After a while (4-5 pints) we were sufficiently buzzed that we deemed ourselves ready to venture out into the night in search of adventure and romance.

We got down into the Grove and headed to the newest bar on the block, Coyote Ugly. Dan had never been there, he was initially hesitant. He was mumbling something about "the movie sucked so why go to the bar?" I didn't listen to him and in we went.

Dan decided we should drink Crown and Cokes. Nice Dan. The Bartender loved our drunk attitude, Her name was Mia and she was our friend for the night. She gave us drinks. We stood watching the show for a while. The Devil Went Down to Georgia came on and all The Coyote Ugly Girls got up on the bar and did a line dance. It involved a lot of boot stamping and booty shaking! Every now and then they would talk the girlfriend of some guy in the crowd to get up and dance on the bar. Then The Girls would spray her down with the water hose! Awesome. Then Mia gave us more drinks.

I think the best part of this particular bar is to watch how people react to the antics of the bartenders. Some guys just stand around drinking and staring at the girls with unconcealed lust. They are creepy. There are always a few bachelor parties in there having fun. It's fun to watch The Girls torture the groom! There are always a few parties of ladies there, they are always drunk and can usually be coerced into dancing on the bar. As a rule they are unattractive. Then there is the few couples there. I don't really understand that. The Grove has a lot of better places to hang out if together than Coyote Ugly. It just doesn't have that certain ambiance. Then Mia gave us more drinks.

This night sitting at the corner of the bar was an older gentleman with salt and pepper hair. he was intently watching the frolics of The Girls on the bar and drinking G&Ts. Next to him was much younger girl with an amazing body you see often in Miami and fantastic fake boobs! I know this because her sheer green shirt was open to her navel, which was an innie. She had the dark over tanned look of someone who doesn't work, a mistress. She was just sitting there drinking a glass of red wine and trying to talk to this guy, who was to intent on watching the frolics of The Girls on the bar. What a shame. We couldn't figure a way to chat her up that wouldn't lead to a fight or humiliation. Then Mia gave us more drinks.

Dan and I laughed over this situation for a while, until the action on the bar heated up. The Girls had a lady up on there dancing. The lady was soaked with water or beer, I am not sure. When we looked over she was in the process of removing her bra as a donation to the collection on the ceiling above the long bar. Her tank top was white. Priceless. Then Mia gave us more drinks.

After Mia gave us more drinks, they announced last call. Mia gave us one more round for the road. At around 4 they closed the bar and Dan and I stumbled back to my place to recover. I cannot confirm or deny reports of regurgitation. (Dan, I don't do that anymore) We decided that we would have to go back soon to hang out again with our friend Mia!

It was rough morning the next day, but I made it to my Saturday Yoga class! Yoga will sweat the hangover out of you, but it does not go peacefully, let me tell you.

Team in Training

So I haven't had a lot of free time lately. Work has been keeping me hopping on my toes. It's good, I am enjoying it, but it is a huge change form the laid back environment of the lab. There I made my own schedule (10-6), had the freedom for vacation and "sick time". I was usually able to sneak out early on Fridays to sample the local happy hours.

Now that I am a salesman I have my schedule dictated to me by the needs of the customers. I have been asked to be in and working with them at 8 in the morning! It's uncivilized I tell you. Also they complain a lot. My camera doesn't work, the software keeps crashing, etc... I am forced to deal with these emergencies, usually over the phone on Friday afternoon. Oh Joy! Happy Hour waits for no man, and it has not waited for me.



This is my expression after one beer during my last happy hour at Buck Ten on South Beach. It's rough out there when you don't have time to train!

Fear not loyal fans, Mighty Casey has not struck out yet. Top athletes need to make sacrifices to remain at the top of their game. The Happy Hour in Paradise is no different. I have recently made a purchase that will help me get back on top of my game. That's Right! I bought a KEGERATOR! This beauty holds a full 55 liter quarter barrel of malted ambrosia. This marvelous miracle of science keeps the beer cold all the time and delivers it on draft with a full frosty head. All of this happen mere steps from my couch in the comfort of my own home! I have realized the dream of man since he first discovered the miracle of cold beer in fraternity basements everywhere!



Here is is, ensconced under my Guiness sign. How I got that one is another story. Rest assured though that the Caramel and cigarette butts came off of it nicely with a little bleach and a lot of 409.

So when i do get time off to myself I have been keeping busy. I have been doing a lot of Yoga and a lot of Rock climbing. I am getting into more Extreme Sports these days. Next up is Skydiving. That trip is actually planned for the weekend of my annual pilgrimage to inebriation in celebration of my baby brothers birthday. So I will miss that dive, but I plan to line up one soon. I'll share those pictures with you, because it is always fun to see a grown man pee himself in absolute terror!



This is me halfway up a 5.10 wall at my local rock gym. South Florida is very flat, so any climbing must be done indoors. This place is in an airplane hangar. We figured out last time that the walls were about 12 meters high. You do the math.

I will end on a job related high note. I rented a car this morning in Birmingham Alabama. Following exchange occurred.

Avis Guy: "Oh, I'm sorry, we don't have any midsize cars left Mr. Coyle. (I get RESPECT) We do have Mustangs. Does that interest you?"

Mr. Coyle: "A Mustang? Absolutely! Score One for me! (Fist Pump)

Avis Guy: "Would you like a convertible or a hardtop Mr. Coyle?" (I get mad RESPECT)

Mr. Coyle: "I would like a red convertible Mustang please." I was being cheeky at this point.

Avis Guy: "We have a red convertible mustang for you Mr. Coyle. Please sign here. Thanks you for coming back to Avis."

Mr. Coyle: "Thank you sir!" Walks away toward the garage to the tune of Radar Love by Dutch band Golden Earring.




Here I am this afternoon on the Campus of Alabama State University with my sweet ride.

BooYah! Sell out with me! Ohh Yeah!

Nikon Canada

Last week I was in Toronto for work. I was representing Nikon at the American Society of Microbiologists, or ASM for short. Ironic isn't it that the ASM was in Canada? Anyway it was lot of fun. Here are some of my pictures and some anecdotes.


This is the CN tower. It is really tall! I had dinner up at the top. They have a revolving restaurant up at the top where we ate. I got ot sit at the window seat and look out as we revolved. It takes about an hour for a complete revolution. Unfortunately I forgot my camera so this picture at the bottom is all I got. The best part was the glass floor. It was really cool to look all the way down from the top. I stepped out on the floor and immediately my stomach flipped out. Even though I knew I was safe, it was still really freaky. I loved it!



On Wednesday afternoon I took off early and went to the Hockey Hall of Fame! It was awesome! The Stanley cup was there and I got to touch it. I touched it!! They had a bunch of games there where I could measure the speed of my slapshot and take aturn being a goalie and blocking shots. Unofrtunately there was a school group from Quebec there so I didn't get to play. I got in line but they kept making fun of me in French. I guess they never saw a hockey fan in a shirt and tie before. Little froggy bastards.




These pictures are of the booth we had set up. It was nice and I got to talk to a lot of people. That's what I liked best about it. I met a lot of nice people and talked to them about lots of nice bacteria. Only in Canada kids!