Coyote Ugly

Coyote Ugly is a bar inspired by a movie. Go watch the movie, it'll help you understand the bar. Last Friday I visited the bar with my buddy Dan. I have no pictures, because I forgot my camera that night. Which is better for all involved anyway. These are the bartenders at the place.




Let me share the concept behind this bar and then I'm sure you'll understand why I like it. They have hot bartenders (see above)who get up on the bar and sing, dance and yell at the drunks. They met out body shots and penalty shots with wild abandon! They also have choreographed dances to southern rock songs. It's cheesy, but a lot of fun!

I hosted happy hour at chez moi. Dan and I sat around an watched sports center and did some damage to my keg. Good times. After a while (4-5 pints) we were sufficiently buzzed that we deemed ourselves ready to venture out into the night in search of adventure and romance.

We got down into the Grove and headed to the newest bar on the block, Coyote Ugly. Dan had never been there, he was initially hesitant. He was mumbling something about "the movie sucked so why go to the bar?" I didn't listen to him and in we went.

Dan decided we should drink Crown and Cokes. Nice Dan. The Bartender loved our drunk attitude, Her name was Mia and she was our friend for the night. She gave us drinks. We stood watching the show for a while. The Devil Went Down to Georgia came on and all The Coyote Ugly Girls got up on the bar and did a line dance. It involved a lot of boot stamping and booty shaking! Every now and then they would talk the girlfriend of some guy in the crowd to get up and dance on the bar. Then The Girls would spray her down with the water hose! Awesome. Then Mia gave us more drinks.

I think the best part of this particular bar is to watch how people react to the antics of the bartenders. Some guys just stand around drinking and staring at the girls with unconcealed lust. They are creepy. There are always a few bachelor parties in there having fun. It's fun to watch The Girls torture the groom! There are always a few parties of ladies there, they are always drunk and can usually be coerced into dancing on the bar. As a rule they are unattractive. Then there is the few couples there. I don't really understand that. The Grove has a lot of better places to hang out if together than Coyote Ugly. It just doesn't have that certain ambiance. Then Mia gave us more drinks.

This night sitting at the corner of the bar was an older gentleman with salt and pepper hair. he was intently watching the frolics of The Girls on the bar and drinking G&Ts. Next to him was much younger girl with an amazing body you see often in Miami and fantastic fake boobs! I know this because her sheer green shirt was open to her navel, which was an innie. She had the dark over tanned look of someone who doesn't work, a mistress. She was just sitting there drinking a glass of red wine and trying to talk to this guy, who was to intent on watching the frolics of The Girls on the bar. What a shame. We couldn't figure a way to chat her up that wouldn't lead to a fight or humiliation. Then Mia gave us more drinks.

Dan and I laughed over this situation for a while, until the action on the bar heated up. The Girls had a lady up on there dancing. The lady was soaked with water or beer, I am not sure. When we looked over she was in the process of removing her bra as a donation to the collection on the ceiling above the long bar. Her tank top was white. Priceless. Then Mia gave us more drinks.

After Mia gave us more drinks, they announced last call. Mia gave us one more round for the road. At around 4 they closed the bar and Dan and I stumbled back to my place to recover. I cannot confirm or deny reports of regurgitation. (Dan, I don't do that anymore) We decided that we would have to go back soon to hang out again with our friend Mia!

It was rough morning the next day, but I made it to my Saturday Yoga class! Yoga will sweat the hangover out of you, but it does not go peacefully, let me tell you.